A Lettre to my ex wife

Dear Choad Sucking Financial Vampire,

I wanted to thank you for your contact last week and to offer an apology.

I’m sorry that you feel walked on by me and by the judicial system and by the support enforcement system. After all these government agencies are most likely controlled and operated by men which you seem to have a hatred for.

I base your hatred of men on the fact that the several boyfriends you’ve had since our divorce look like men, but in fact have a ghostly outline of where their testicles should be. Only one of them was smart enough to get out from under your thumb by his own volition.

I’m sorry that the agreed upon amount for the child support (that was approved and signed off by a judge in a court of law) is not enough. It seems to me that since our children reside with me an average of 48% of the time throughout the year that you may have forgotten that I have just as many child related expenses as you do.

In fact I have incurred additional costs because of your lack of ability to provide health insurance for our children. These costs have been paid in the form of cash/credit directly to said purveyors of the services that were rendered.

Why haven’t I provided health insurance for the children you ask?

Oh well let me tell you why. If you had bothered to read the fine print in the support paperwork you would see where it very clearly states that as the non-custodial parent if my insurance available to me from my employer exceeds a specified cost of $100.25, then I am not obligated to provide it. This is just wrong in my own opinion. As human beings we are all entitled to health care. That being said the cost of health care from my employer is just over double that cost and goes up every October.

What about alternative health care you ask?

Good question! Let me inform you of that well traveled road. It seems that there isn’t a government backed or private health insurance provider in our free thinking liberal state that will allow me to purchase a policy for our children with the exception of my already existing work plan because I am not the custodial parent.

*apparently the definition of Non-Custodial Parent is one who is allowed to view his children from afar, but still bear the financial burden while the mother whines like a tea kettle whistle about the lack of cash.

What can you do to help remedy this problem you ask?

Again, very good question!! You could start by doing something like going to your employer and asking to place the children on your benefits.

What’s that you say? There are no benefits available to you from either employer because you don’t have enough hours weekly to qualify for any. Oh that’s a shame.

Might I suggest that you then start looking for a real job that offers 40 hours a week and benefits? There are plenty of entry level careers out there for single moms that have been waitressing for over 10 years that have not done anything to better themselves by means of advancement or education.

This segues nicely to my second apology. Or is it the 3^rd? Who cares!

I’m sorry that you work two jobs that rely on tipping and don’t provide a full 40 hours. If you look at my previous statement about the real job thing you might find that you have a bit more money and a chance for advancement and better career prospects in the future. Just saying.

I’m sorry that your current live in boyfriend of the last 2 years doesn’t contribute anything to your household. I understand from our children and his very own MySpace and Facebook pages that he is gainfully employed. This means that he should have the means to help you with your rent since he lives there too. He should have the means to buy some groceries. I assume he eats, but if he’s a mindless robot then a quart of 20/50 a month should do him fine. I can also assume that he does more than sit in the dark? So he must use electricity. Does he help pay that bill? What about internet. You have a computer. Does he help pay that bill as well?

My advice is to throw this freeloading prat onto the street or have a chat with him and start dipping into his wallet for a change.

I’m truly sorry that you feel you have been so put upon by the choices that you have made in life.