Tuesday, March 29, 2011

What do you want to be when you grow up?

I really hate that question.

First of all, how many of you knew the answer to that question when you were a kid?

Now how many of you actually do for a living what you wanted to do as a kid?

Not me.

There was no college course on how to be Han Solo or Bruce Lee.

After all I don't know of anyone that has said "I knew I wanted to be in porn since my first sexual encounter" or "I think I'd like to manually masturbate horses for an artificial insemination breeding program".

*side note: I have thought of using my overly active and pervy imagination to write some erotica, cuz lets just face it, you really don't want to see me IN a film.*

Yes dear readers, just 2 examples of real jobs out there.

I had a friend that wanted to be a gynecologist simply because he thought it was a glorified pussy inspector. I can see it then and I can see it now: "Yep looks good *sniff sniff* "smells right" "NEXT!!"

That didn't pan out for him so well. He was a bum for the better part of 6-7 years and then worked fast food quickly becoming a manager and then turned to bouncing at a bar while working as a temp contractor for a large computer software company in Washington state.

I actually had a 6th grade teacher tell me that I would never be anything more than a ditch digger. He thought I was stupid because math was my kryptonite. He didn't think ADD and OCD were real mental issues and made sure I was made an example of on a daily basis.

Well I showed him and researched exactly what a ditch digger makes and rubbed his face in like a like it was a pair of oil covered stripper tits. I showed him!! After all, you need a CDL to drive the big rig that hauls the backhoe that digs the ditch. Top notch CDL drivers can make some decent money.

He wasn't going to take that sitting down. He then told me that I wouldn't do anything more than pump gas for the rest of my life. Shot down. I really hated that fucker. Now I can look upon my life and give him the finger wherever he is and tell him "FUCK YOU" you loser. I don't have it bad, but I don't have it good either. I can also say that I didn't have to marry wealthy and ask my rich wife to buy my Porsche. Douche. *no bitterness here*

Those of you who read me (I think I have 5 followers) have read my rants and know that while I believe in what I do, I really don't want to be doing it for who I do it for.

Flash back 4 years now to a time where I volunteered on a small independent film called The Book of Zombie and it was at that time I finally knew what I wanted to do!!! It was in front of me the whole time!!! I want to make films!! I really don't care if it's for a big budget studio or not. I just want to make films.

You have to understand that I'm a movie whore/nerd first and foremost. This makes sense and in the next 2 years I will be going back to school again for a communications degree with a media focus. That is part 2 however.

Part 1 is as follows: Apprentice in a tat shop for the next 2 years and ink people while going to school. Seems easy enough, yeah.

Now more recently I have been investing in tattoo guns and power sources, inks, needles and any other supply that will get me inking some people. That is just the tip though. Since my initial investment I have successfully tattooed or done tattoo touch up work on about 5 people.

I took a huge leap this past weekend and made an appointment at a local tattoo shop to talk to an artist about an internship.

I know yeah!! How fucking exciting is that?! I'm super excited since I have always liked tattoos and I like getting them. I look beyond and see the history and the ceremonial reasons for body art. Most of all I finally for the first time in my life see that I can take something I love and make it a career without worrying about financial aid or grades. I can do this anywhere in the world. I can do it from home or a shop. I can travel to exotic locales and learn from a traditional tattooist. I can do exactly what I'm going to do and learn from a well known artist from an established shop. I can even purchase a how to DVD from an on line supplier and learn at home.

It's not an Ivy League school or some prestigious specialised school like Julliard or Cornish, but it's not for everyone. You have what it takes or you don't.

My first one ever. We were both virgins: he'd never had one and I'd never inked anyone. I had my gear about a week.
(it looks like shit, but don't judge)

Inking myself. After all, every good inker has practised on him/herself.

My 2nd victi......er I mean client.

Some touch-up work on another friend. This is on his calve. I've also done some touch-up on his neck.

 So now when someone asks me what I want to do when I grow up at least  I now have an answer: to ink the planet.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

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