Purging: It's not just for personal belongings anymore

Some of you that read this post or the Paisley's blog know that we have been taking on a minimalist twist to our home and our lives. We have made some noticeable headway in the amount of belongings we have in our home and in our on site storage. We both feel good about the progress made, but we still realise that there is still more work to do. It's not easy to just start eliminating things out of your life without some sort of mental trauma.

Yes I've certainly gone through the phases of "gee this *enter any non descript item here* has some emotional value to me and I'm not sure if I can part with it" dilemma in my head. The Paisley has been there with me as well. We've been on the opposite side of that factor as well with the "I'm really sick of just knowing that all that useless crap is taking up space in our storage and I"m taking it to donate know" angry no guilt purge.

Well I've been doing some other purging as well. I've been purging my Facebook friend's list. I know, how could I?

Well it's easy goddamn it!!! I know I'm not the model of cheerfulness and I am working on clearing the spaces in my head that have allowed negativity to take up residence and with that I have come to realise that I have some friends in my life that are really not good for me mentally. Not that these people are bad by any means. They have been in my life for a reason and I have appreciated and enjoyed their friendships for the most part.

Now onto the bad. I did have one person in particular that I eliminated after further consideration of our "friendship". I came to realise that this person is a user. I will call this person H for the purpose of anonymity.

I met H in 1983. *Fuck I'm old* We seemed to hit it off and had common interest. Over the years we would have lunches or go to movies or school events. We had common friends that we would do things with. The only problem I had with H was the type A personality. H was definitely the Alpha Dog.

Yes it's hard to believe that I was not always the cynical and verbally opinionated bastard I am now. I was very introverted and in my own world. I did not like to go outside my comfort zones. Look at me now!!!

Back to the purging!! H had a way of manipulating people and getting what H wanted even if someone got hurt (mentally) in the process. I stood by and watched H emotionally manipulate another person into an intimate relationship that the other party just didn't want. It took me 6 years to realise just how hurtful H really was. My experience was the discovery of items stolen from my car in H's house and confronting H about them.

H denied everything of course. What H didn't know was that I would mark my belongings with a specific design that wasn't my name. Why? Well duh, if you put your name on something then that will make the thief file it off or erase it somehow. If it looks like a cool design, then you can pretty much guarantee that it will still be on there if found thereby making the item(s) easily identifiable. The designs were still there. Then there was lying about how H had obtained said items and where and when. H had quite the little web of cover up going on. That was the last time I saw or spoke to H.

Moving forward to 2010 and H pops up on my FB page requesting to be my friend. Ugh really? Well I decided that I could give it a try and see how it goes. It had been 21 years and H had to have grown up and was surely not the person that I had walked away from. Wow was I ever wrong. This time it's lies about H's life and all the drama associated with it.

In the last few months I've been getting repeated phone and FB messages: My SO has kicked me out. My SO is holding my dog hostage. I'm living in my truck and need a safe place. Can I borrow some money and your laptop?

It goes on. There are the stories about what H has been doing for the last 21 years that just don't add up. There is the growing list of friends that are coming to same conclusion I have about H.

It's not just about the lying and the made up stories. It's also about the lack of respect for my property. H had come to my house with their dog a couple of times and the dog just flat out peed on my hardwood floors and H did nothing to stop it, nothing to correct the dog after the fact and nothing to clean up after the dog!!!

H may need help, but I'm pretty sure that I'm not professionally qualified to provide the kind of help that H requires and with that I have eliminated H from my life. FB, phone number, email.Fortunately H does not remember where I live.

Then I started thinking about how many people are on my FB friends list and really looking at what kind of person that individual really is.

Like everyone I want to be the best person I can without compromising who I am for a facade of someone that I'm not. After all I'm pretty sure that I can still be my opinionated cynical self and be someone that is healthy to be around while continuing to be a complete bastard. It's possible.

I'm grateful for the people that I've met in the last few years IRL and virtually that have brought an aura of positive vibes to my life. I believe it's wearing off on me. I'm grateful for the people that I didn't know so well 20+ years ago that I've reconnected with that have brought all sorts of positive goodness to my life as well.

Belongings and friends: if they haven't been seen and utilised in the past year or more and it's not healthy for you, then it's probably time for them to go.

*Please note that the above rule is not applicable in every situation. Use your best judgment and common sense when purging belongings and unhealthy relationships*

Yes of course I have been the victem of a purging by more than one person. To quote Happy Harry Hardon: So Be It!!! I realise that as friendship develope and grow sometimes that means they grow apart. Don't be offended. It's not personal. Really it's not. As an example, I received a phone call 2 weeks ago from my oldest friend in life that I have not spoken to in 6 years. Guess what? I had deleted him from my life a few years ago. Sure it was hard at first. He was one of the first people I had purged. Not that I didn't care about him, but our lives grew apart. We didn't have anything in common anymore. Realistically his not ever contacting me may be his method of purging now that I think about it, I just hadn't caught on.

Or he could just be a self involved fuck that only thinks of himself.

I say that becuase when he called he had told me that he was only doing so becuase his just-a-biscuit-over-21 girlfriend thought that he should contact his longest known friend after questioning him one evening about his past and friends and how long he had known them all. I don't need a pitty call from him Anorexic Annie!!

I get to call her that becuase I know my friend and I know the type of trophy girl he likes.

Where was I? Purging..............so I continue to purge my physical belongings and my emotional space. Sometimes they do go hand in hand. I believe that having less emotional attachment to things that I receive now and in the future will mean easier purging when it's required.

What have you purged lately?

Foto Friday: Weekend Edition

Spring has finally sprung in my neighbourhood and Mother Nature has something on her mind.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

I really hate that question.

First of all, how many of you knew the answer to that question when you were a kid?

Now how many of you actually do for a living what you wanted to do as a kid?

Not me.

There was no college course on how to be Han Solo or Bruce Lee.

After all I don't know of anyone that has said "I knew I wanted to be in porn since my first sexual encounter" or "I think I'd like to manually masturbate horses for an artificial insemination breeding program".

*side note: I have thought of using my overly active and pervy imagination to write some erotica, cuz lets just face it, you really don't want to see me IN a film.*

Yes dear readers, just 2 examples of real jobs out there.

I had a friend that wanted to be a gynecologist simply because he thought it was a glorified pussy inspector. I can see it then and I can see it now: "Yep looks good *sniff sniff* "smells right" "NEXT!!"

That didn't pan out for him so well. He was a bum for the better part of 6-7 years and then worked fast food quickly becoming a manager and then turned to bouncing at a bar while working as a temp contractor for a large computer software company in Washington state.

I actually had a 6th grade teacher tell me that I would never be anything more than a ditch digger. He thought I was stupid because math was my kryptonite. He didn't think ADD and OCD were real mental issues and made sure I was made an example of on a daily basis.

Well I showed him and researched exactly what a ditch digger makes and rubbed his face in like a like it was a pair of oil covered stripper tits. I showed him!! After all, you need a CDL to drive the big rig that hauls the backhoe that digs the ditch. Top notch CDL drivers can make some decent money.

He wasn't going to take that sitting down. He then told me that I wouldn't do anything more than pump gas for the rest of my life. Shot down. I really hated that fucker. Now I can look upon my life and give him the finger wherever he is and tell him "FUCK YOU" you loser. I don't have it bad, but I don't have it good either. I can also say that I didn't have to marry wealthy and ask my rich wife to buy my Porsche. Douche. *no bitterness here*

Those of you who read me (I think I have 5 followers) have read my rants and know that while I believe in what I do, I really don't want to be doing it for who I do it for.

Flash back 4 years now to a time where I volunteered on a small independent film called The Book of Zombie and it was at that time I finally knew what I wanted to do!!! It was in front of me the whole time!!! I want to make films!! I really don't care if it's for a big budget studio or not. I just want to make films.

You have to understand that I'm a movie whore/nerd first and foremost. This makes sense and in the next 2 years I will be going back to school again for a communications degree with a media focus. That is part 2 however.

Part 1 is as follows: Apprentice in a tat shop for the next 2 years and ink people while going to school. Seems easy enough, yeah.

Now more recently I have been investing in tattoo guns and power sources, inks, needles and any other supply that will get me inking some people. That is just the tip though. Since my initial investment I have successfully tattooed or done tattoo touch up work on about 5 people.

I took a huge leap this past weekend and made an appointment at a local tattoo shop to talk to an artist about an internship.

I know yeah!! How fucking exciting is that?! I'm super excited since I have always liked tattoos and I like getting them. I look beyond and see the history and the ceremonial reasons for body art. Most of all I finally for the first time in my life see that I can take something I love and make it a career without worrying about financial aid or grades. I can do this anywhere in the world. I can do it from home or a shop. I can travel to exotic locales and learn from a traditional tattooist. I can do exactly what I'm going to do and learn from a well known artist from an established shop. I can even purchase a how to DVD from an on line supplier and learn at home.

It's not an Ivy League school or some prestigious specialised school like Julliard or Cornish, but it's not for everyone. You have what it takes or you don't.

My first one ever. We were both virgins: he'd never had one and I'd never inked anyone. I had my gear about a week.
(it looks like shit, but don't judge)



Inking myself. After all, every good inker has practised on him/herself.



My 2nd victi......er I mean client.



Some touch-up work on another friend. This is on his calve. I've also done some touch-up on his neck.



 So now when someone asks me what I want to do when I grow up at least  I now have an answer: to ink the planet.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Foto Friday: Saturday Edition

Pioneer Square


St Patrick's Day 2011

10 pm