Tuesday, August 26, 2008

How the internet can change your friendships

So it's a very weird thing happening to me lately. I have had all sorts of hits on my Facebook site from people that I haven't seen or heard from in years requesting to be on my friends list.

I don't mind this at all. Really. Not that I didn't remain in contact with any of these people for any good or bad reason. We just went our separate ways and got on with our lives.

Good friendships tend to be that way I think. If your friendships end on a sour note, then were you really good friends?

Look at me and my wife for example. We met and dated in highschool. Our relationship ended on an amicable note and we got on with our lives after highschool. Fast forward 12 years later. I had been going through a rather rough divorce and was really irritated one nite and my good friend and fellow piper, Don calls me up and says that he is out at the Tractor to see one of his favourite bands and suggest that I go down there and hang out and put my worries aside for the nite.

Begrudgingly I agree. So I lock up the place and head out to the Starbug to get her warmed up and prepare for the 11 mile trek into Ballard.

*Side note* for those of you wondering........I'm a huge Sci-Fi fan. Red Dwarf is one of my favourite shows and Starbug is the name of the transport that a good portion of the show takes place on. Now that that's out of the way...........my Starbug is a 1969 VW Beetle, painted in a very bright rattle can green and the entire body was pop-riveted to make it look like it was constructed of various panels much similar to an aircraft. Additionally there was the addition of a ram-air induction snorkel for the airfiltre housing and various other mods such as a 4 into 1 exhaust header and dual glasspacks, short shift kit with a reverse lock out and full gages.......you get the general idea.

My long point is that my wife and I were able to basically pick up almost where we left off even though we hadn't seen each other in years.

There will be some cases where friends that haven't seen each other in years can't do that simply because their lives went in completely different directions and they have nothing to connect them but the past. As people we have friendships for the here and now.

I'm somewhat of a social person by nature. I like to be around people and I'm genuinely interested in what goes on in peoples lives. It's still a weird concept though that some of these people may be looking to see how I turned out compared to their lives. Some may just be clicking on names and thinking "I remember this person and I wonder how things are going and what they're up to" but not really have the intention of actually getting together to catch up in person. I also don't mind if anyone actually meets up with me in person. Sometimes it's not possible for whatever reason. I happen to work in an industry where a lot of friends on my Facebook page are coworkers that work on board a cruise ship. I recently saw one of my friends last month that I hadn't seen in over 2 years. It was nice to see this person and catch up even if for a few minutes.

Some friends may not want to be found. I have one of those in my life as well. Not really. If he was in my life we would still be friends. He left for employment elsewhere 4 years ago and has since returned. I have tried to contact him to no avail. I can respect that he may not want people to know that he is back, but for someone that was as close to me as he was needs to provide some kind of explanation in my opinion. I'm sure he has his reasons and it would be nice to have that closure. If you happen to see this Royce, call man. I miss the times.

There are other friends that no matter what, you always have that bond. I have one that I absolutely consider my best friend in life................we have been through bad and good and no matter what we do to liven up each others lives or piss each other off we are friends. Maybe not as close as we were, but it's still there. BJE you know who you are. The closest thing to a brother that I have and still glad to call you my friend. Just let me know that you're breathing once in a while.

The internet has really opened up our methods of finding someone. I can remember that if you wanted to connect to someone you called their last known residence to see if they left any forwarding information. (I'm not all that old......mid 30's is young enough to still be young, but old enough for us to grow up without the things that our kids have like cell phones and the internet and some of the other tech toys that they take for granted).

So for the here and now I will enjoy those that I have reconnected with once again and those that are good enough to have met me in recent years and deem me a friend.

My advise to all of you out there.................do the same. Enjoy time with friends while you can since you never know when it will end.

God gave us the ability to choose friends to make up for the fact that we can't choose our family.


Celtic Sprite Seeking Knowledge said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Celtic Sprite Seeking Knowledge said...

Thanks for Posting a Great Reality Check ... things always happen for a reason. Enjoy your new found connections & see what happens. So Cool

Roland Hulme said...

Facebook is SO weird like that. I've had friends from school I haven't spoken to in 20 years sign up as my friends.

You HAVE to post a picture of Star Bug. I loved Red Dwarf.